The 1974 classic Cat’s In The Cradle originally by Harry Chapin tells the story of a hard working father who is too busy for to spend time with his child while he’s growing up until he retires and wants to spend time with his son only to get the same answer.
“Sorry, too busy right now. Maybe someday.”
My mother has not seen her only grandchild in almost three years. The last time she saw her she was six weeks old and she’ll be three in a couple months.
That’s the current situation is in any conversation with my mother about whether she has any intention of coming to visit her only grandchild before she graduates kindergarten. At the moment it looks like *shakes Magic 8 Ball* don’t count on it. She is still unvaccinated, which is enough of an issue for me on its own, but more importantly she shows no interest in even wanting to try to visit and it’s very disappointing and it makes me sad for my daughter.
When or if my mother ever sees her only grandchild again I have no idea how my daughter will react. Seeing the person she occasionally talks to on FaceTime may be underwhelming and she’ll be ready to move on after about 10 minutes.
I wonder if my mother used up all her grandma energy on my cousin’s kids because it increasingly feels that way.
The more time that passes the harder it is to care and I can sense that her only grandchild is headed the same direction. When you’re only the equivalent of a character on FaceTime every now and then you are more of an episode of some show that happens to be on. I wrote about this previously in What’s In A Name about how my paternal grandparents barely saw me growing up and it feels eerily similar to my mother’s relationship with her only grandchild.
My Tiny Human knows she is loved and cared for and there are so many people who love and want to see her in person and some do and some are making plans to try and make that happen safely and I’m thrilled for that. I just wish my mother showed any level of interest beyond a half-hearted response that sounds like verbal hand wringing when I mention it.
At this point I’m not mad, just disappointed.